Great Expectations

Hey..... that would be a good name for a book. I have learned over the years to not place expectations on people, places or things. I have a way of putting unrealistic expectations on people and the way my perfect little world should be run. Expectations are baby resentments waiting to grow up. There is peace and serenity in a day without expectations , good things that come my way are blessings and things I don't like...well that's just life. I can even find myself putting unrealistic expectations on me. There is a place where my expectations are safe and secure, that place is in the hands of God. I can put expectations on Him because He is Faithful. He wants me to put expectations on Him because that shows my faith in Him. So my new expectations for the new year are all with God. I expect Him to do exactly what His word says He will do. I thank God for what He has done, what He is doing and what He is going to do. Those are expectations I can depend on......without fail.
Peace and Love
Jeff

The Gift

Funny how a psychic change takes place and before you know it your first response is not material but spiritual. That being said; the gift I have received that I will never forget is the gift of desperation, yes desperation. Had I not received this gift all the material gifts I have received or will ever receive would be worthless. Had I not received the gift of desperation I may not even be alive to be writing this blog. I had to receive this gift in order to become clean and sober. Without my sobriety I am of no use to God and my fellow man.The one gift I will never forget is the gift of desperation.
Peace and Love
Jeff

One Thing

The blog this week is" if you could change one thing in the world what would it be ?" Obvious answers come to mind........ for every one to love like Jesus loves would solve all the worlds problems. I believe one thing that would help this is to change our money system, to totally do away with money and go back to the barter system. Neighbor helping neighbor with our individual God given gifts. I would be the one to fix your tractor so in return you would help feed my family......and so on. The need to put faith in God and fellow believers would become a reality again instead of the selfish consumer, I will do it on my own mentality most live in today. I hate money.....it is what it is...but I would change it if I could.
Peace and Love
Jeff

Giving Thanks

I once heard it said any one can be thankful.....but it takes a deeper meaning to give thanks. The older I get the more I understand this statement. Being thankful usually means things are good and going my way so I am thankful. Giving thanks, or really understanding what it is to be thankful, happens even when things are not going "my way." True peace and a fruitful life comes out of hardship...hardships are our pathway to peace, this being said I have a deep gratitude for the good things in my life. My family, friends and relationships with others are the things I am truly thankful for, without my relationship with Jesus and others my life is empty and dark. I am thankful God has transformed my life and continues to mold it into what He wants . Turns out its awesome to live in His will. So if you are reading this I am thankful for you !!
Peace and Love
Jeff

Traditions

Christmas traditions...culture would have us spend too much, eat too much, drink too much and make it all about Santa and eggnog. We really don't do a lot at our house but the few things we do are special. Christmas eve we bake and decorate cookies, my baby girl....now 23.... and I have done this together since she was old enough. We have 20 or so years of baking and cookie pictures. This year we we have actually planned our grand son's first Christmas so they will be here Christmas eve and we can have our tradition. More recently, I would say for the past 7 years we have a new tradition. We have a spike about 6 inches long that hangs from a red ribbon. It represents the nails that hung Jesus on the cross. When we first put up the tree, before anything else is done, we hang the nail on a limb close to the trunk in remembrance of what Christmas is all about.
Peace and Love
Jeff

A Moment in Time

As I ponder this weeks blog........... it has me looking back at many"Moments in Time." The death of my father, mom re-married, the birth of my daughter, the day of my sobriety, my first real marriage, the day I was ordained, surgeries, the day I realized my stable career was over, G.E.D. graduation, starting college, the birth of my grandson; all of these are "mile stones" or moments in time that changed my life. All of these have had a major influence on my life.If I have to pick one moment that surpasses the next it would be unfair and very difficult. The one thing I do know for sure......in February 2002 when I decided to turn my will and my life back over to Jesus was the day everything changed and transformation began. That small moment of clarity that surpassed everything else when I realized Jeff's way wouldn't work and His way was the only way....That's my true "Moment in Time." All of my past moment's and all of my future moment's are dependent on Jesus truly being Lord of my life...........not me; as I often still try to make it !!! Looking through my Jesus glasses all my past,present and future moments are beautiful....
Peace and Love
Jeff

Enemy

One thing about what we do is for sure....not everyone will receive the truth without being offended. When we speak the truth in love we are bound to encounter some enemies. I have past "friends" that do not like me just because I don't do what I used to do. I have heard through the grapevine that people have said I was hateful to them because of what I said. All I can say is sometimes the truth hurts......but the truth also shall set you free. Most of us are so lost and lacking maturity that we get offended when we hear the truth....at first. My prayer is that when we do finally get something, that person who offended us will come to mind and we can forgive them realizing they were speaking the truth all along. Past enemies will become friends.
Peace and Love
Jeff

Inspired Stories

Who's story has inspired you ? I couldn't decide on which of the stories posted so I will comment on two. It is really amazing how God uses an event for a turning point in all our stories. Chad had a choice....could have went either way. God used events and Chad made the right choices to go from a drug dealer to a pastor. Terry had a choice...could have gone either way.God used events and Terry made some right choices to go from an addict headed to prison who had lost his children to now being a loving father and the assistant recovery pastor. I'm feeling a trend even in my story. All of our stories are incredible. We are an unlikely staff doing unlikely ministry. God has chosen us,set us aside for His purpose. Our un-written final stories are already incredible as long as we keep making the right choices. We ask God daily for His guidance and courage to do His work for His glory. Through Faith we can continue to write our stories......I'm looking forward to the next chapters !!!
Peace and Love
Jeff

My Story

Popular,athletic, happy,spolied,lived in the swimming pool,cool bikes,skateboards,basketball,football practice....game day....big house in Houston,every event at church with Mom,pool in the backyard,basketball court,game room,pornography from someones dads magazines,sneaking alcohol and cigarettes,mandrex and weed,......Childhood memories before 1980. April 1980 I was suddenly woke up by my mom screaming for help. I ran from neighbor to neighbor for help no one answered the door,finally Mr. Anderson came running over.They gave dad CPR until the ambulance came. After they got there they made me go outside.At poolside I made DEALS with the god I thought I knew...Dad died anyway. From that day until Feb.2002 all I really remember is trying to change the way I felt. No counseling,no closure no idea how to grieve.I remember some good moments, but mostly a saturated fog of alcohol,drugs,women.I was removed from campus my second senior year. Satan's MVP sums it up. I had overdosed twice within a year, the third time I will never forget. Ask me sometime I will tell you all about it. From that moment on God placed people in my life to help me stay sober and disciple me into who I am today. For the past eight years I have done more for others than I have for myself. Since then I have worked extensively with other alcoholics and addicts,I have attended and worked numerous Emmaus functions. I have obtained my GED and currently have a 4.0 GPA working toward a degree in Chemical Dependency Counseling. In March of 2009 I was ordained at The Mission in Abilene TX. where I currently serve as the Recovery Pastor and youth worship leader. I have a wonderful family and many friends all because of the unconditional Love,Mercy and Grace of our Heavenly Father.
Peace and Love
Jeff

Who believed in me ?

What a question...my first reaction is my mother...I am alive today because of the prayers of a loving and Christ centered mother. My family who never gave up on me,my sisters who fervently prayed for me throughout my "Days of less clarity." In ministry it would first have to be Doug Brown and the folks out at Elm Valley. Then; Doug Nelon,Bush Ramsey,Sammy Alcala and Fred Watson, these guys were my friends who stood beside me in the early days. They kept me going with encouragement and love for many years. Barry B. has been my spiritual advisor,accountability partner and friend for almost 7 years now. As of late in would have to be Pastor Chad and all the staff at The Mission. On paper...I am not a likely candidate for an ordained pastor. but, because of Chad and the elders at The Mission today I am an ordained pastor.I am pursuing a new career and doing more in ministry than ever before all while being on staff at The Mission. So many other people are coming to mind looking back over the years.it is easy to see how blessed I have been. God has worked and is still working through people all around me.
Peace and Love
Jeff

No Means a Better Yes

Recently we were asked to ponder the statement "You have to say no to the good things in order to say yes to the best things." Early in life this may have been confusing, not any more. I have learned the best things come to those who wait. This applies in all areas of life. Let's look at some obvious ones. A new car would be good, waiting a year and getting the same car with a few miles on it but saving 10,000 is better. Saying no to an impulse buy, just to find the same item half price later is also great. Material examples yes I know but they offer Spiritual principles. I promise you this fact....every time I say no to my flesh God blesses me in a way that is by far the best. I am not talking about sin; rather my way verses Gods way. I may think it's good but God knows what is Best. Saying no to many good things,i.e. ministry engagements, allows me to spend more quality time doing better things. Recently I have said no to some really GOOD food only to physically feel my BEST later !!!!!
Peace and Love
Jeff

Paradox

One of my favorites....among "The last shall be first," "I have to become nothing in order for God to make me something," " To become great is to become a servant." It took a long time for this one to sink in but, once it is..... there is freedom. Keeping with the favorites, one of our A.A. slogans that comes directly from this Biblical principle is "You gotta give it away to keep it." If I am not serving others I am absolutely useless. The spiritual side of our being yearns for service work. It just takes most of us a long time to realize it. There is a simple satisfaction in servant hood that is parallel with God's nature. Our journey is to become more like Christ and the very essence of Him is a servant. There is peace in God's will therefore there is peace in servant hood.
Peace and Love
Jeff

Legacy

What have I started that will live on after I am gone ? The more I have thought about this question this week the more I have to take a look at my actions. My words are empty if my actions don't line up. First, I believe in my children. As different as they are, they all have been impacted by my actions. Peaceful and easy...that's what they all have seen. Peace with God, ourselves and each other. Love like Jesus....whether YOU think they deserve it or not. Although I am starting a ministry that I believe will be part of my legacy, the reality is life is about relationships. The relationships I am forming with my guy's and the things I teach and model for them will be passed on from them to others....and so on....and so on. The young men we form relationships with through Chrysalis is another form of legacy. We get to see them grow through the years, what a blessing. So my answer would be; throughout life the relationships I form and the people I impact will be my legacy. Wherever that may take place...
Peace and Love
Jeff

Getting in Shape

Yesterday I was frustrated, I weighed before church and had gained weight. I blamed it on eating bad for one day but really was frustrated because I have been working hard. Saturday had been my hardest workout to date. Cardio in the pool for over an hour with Godot was intense...not only swimming laps but racing with my son. A little ego never hurt a workout but I have to say it was the hardest I have swam to date...LOL Anyway I weighed again this morning and have lost another 2.2 lbs. That brings my total to 11.1 lbs. I was tempted yesterday to pig out, it's Sunday....you deserve it....all the rationale's were free flowing. I was ready for a large pizza with extra everything. Something inside me would not let me do it. I had 3 slices of lean brisket and some black eyed peas. I guess the moral of this blog is not to give up. God is Faithful when we are faithful. He WILL do His part but we have our part as well. So whatever your struggling through.....stay faithful cause He is Faithful !
Peace and Love
Jeff

What am I going to do about it ?

As of late this summer I have been way too busy. This morning I have been thinking about this blog and what am I really doing about it ? With everything that is still going on I think the most important thing I am trying to do is more with less. I am spending more quality time with the guy's I sponsor. We have set times each week to meet and work. I am spending more quiet time at home with God and family. We have started youth worship again and I am teaching one guy guitar and another bass. I am spending less time on things that are not a priority. Last but not least I am taking better care of myself. Ironically, the week I started my diet and exercise Chad challenged the staff to a 21 day weight loss competition. So far I have lost 9.7 lbs. I never in my life have had to loose weight or diet, it's not easy. I told a lot of my close friends what I was doing for accountability and prayer, that's the key. Eating right and exercise actually makes you feel better !!!! Whodathunk !!!
Peace and Love
Jeff

JOY Matthew 25:21

What brings me joy? I have a favorite little speech I give to people who say they aren't happy. I explain to them happiness depends on things to happen-happen is the root of the word happy. If I am depending on things to make me "happy" I am missing the boat. True happiness is known as joy, and joy only comes from the Lord. Matthew 25:21 clearly states " you have been faithful over a few now I WILL MAKE YOU ruler over many, enter into the joy of the Lord." THE ONLY part I play is being faithful and obedient, He provides everything else. Having said all that back to the question " what brings me joy?" Seeing my wife worship from the sound booth on Sunday morning brings me joy. The love and relationships of my family and friends brings me joy. Seeing my daughter being a good mommy brings me joy. Holding my grand son, Seeing those in recovery doing well, Being part of something at church bigger than all of us, all these things bring me joy. It is not coincidence that all of this came after I was faithful with a few things and God blessed me with all of these things..........and the best is yet to come. Thank you Jesus for my Joy.
Peace and Love
Jeff

Infiltrate

I have been asked this week how do I infiltrate my faith into humanity. Without hesitation I say through recovery and relationship. As some of you know I am currently putting together a non-profit, school has slowed down the process but school is part of the process,this is the entire reason for this ministry. Showing the love of Christ through helping those in recovery. We don't advertise or push our faith, it is a natural response to Gods love that automatically takes place. So far, we have had 5 Baptisms through our recovery meeting just this year. When we get out of the way and let God work, amazing things happen. Remember, the most spiritual thing I can do is keep my mouth shut !
Peace and Love
Jeff

Striving for More, Desire for More

I've been trying to catch up with catching up for awhile now. God is doing amazing work all around us. This is actually a blog assignment from last week and since I lead worship I will need to check with aroz to see if I am missing this weeks also--any who---A principle I am familiar with is Bigger, Better and more. Seems I wasted many years chasing it. What I have learned is to be grateful for the NOW in life. If I am so busy desiring more I miss out on the blessings here in the NOW. If I could think of an upside to desiring more it would be the drive to obtain it. As long as it's something in Gods will for us desire can be a positive thing.
Peace and Love
Jeff

Chrysalis 51

Wow !!!! That's about all I can say. Thank you Father for being so big and intricate I don't understand how you work. Thank you Holy Spirit for preparing the way and following through every aspect of Chrysalis 51. I was extremely blessed and I was fortunate to witness God working in the lives of 22 young men. I was joking before the weekend about how we are only able to be Lay Director one time because if asked again we would say no....How wrong I was--I would start preparing again today to see what God would do again. He is so Faithful We need to be more like Him.
Peace and Love
Jeff

What am I uniquely equipted to do.

I am responsible for my calling. God has given me a ministry to help bridge the gap between recovery and the church.

What breaks my heart

People with the ability and knowledge to stay clean and sober who chose to destroy their lives and the lives around them.

What needs can God use me to meet

God uses me to meet the needs of my family,those I sponsor in recovery and the youth we work with.

What has God put in me?

God has blessed me with many talents I try to use for His glory. The most effective I believe in recovery ministry is the ability to put the ball in others court. To relate to people in a way that's real. To guide them to let God help them help themselves.

What am I passionate about

I am passionate about seeing people recover from their addictions, To see peoples lives change through the love of Christ is awesome. In recovery one of the biggest blessings is to watch newcomers grow in sobriety.

Routine

Define Irony... Chad asked us to blog this week about disrupting our routine. His purpose is to stay fresh in ministry. Not to minister out of memory or plain routine. That was Sunday morning....today at 4:05 is the first time I have had to breathe. Monday and Tuesday where busy with Emmaus and Stop The Violence meetings along with 14 hour school schedule . Today was the first Chrysalis meeting for this year. Wednesday our washing machine overflowed, flooding the house. We had to move into a hotel while insurance fixes the house. I have not even come close to a normal schedule. Even as normally abnormal my varying schedule has been. Aside from no time to blog I think I have successfully accomplished doing something different this week !!!!
Peace and Love
Jeff

Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of my fathers passing. Thirty years ago today I was a fourteen year old wondering why God took my dad . I had made a deal with God out by the pool while paramedics where working on my dad . You see I was already doing things I knew where wrong and I told God if He would let my dad live I would stop . After that I spent the better part of 22 years blaming God and living as Satan's MVP . At 36 I overdosed on alcohol and pain meds , again , and finally got help . Today at 44 I am still sober , at work trying my best to live for God and His glory . Many of you may feel I am crazy . You may already , but I feel like I have communicated with my dad all my life ? This day has passed many years and I have not even thought about it . Today is different , I called my sister to see about Tabs drums and simply asked isn't it close to the anniversary of dads death . You see I have had a mental block of these days all my life . He died on the 29th and his birthday was the 25th . He was 47 .At 44 I now see how young he really was . Today he told me how proud he is of me .As my Heavenly Father holds him in his hands . I pray he has peace . I love you dad . I forgive you . I pray you forgive me . See ya soon .
Peace and Love
Your son .

A Baby Crying For Food

Whats up !!
We are currently reading 1Peter as a staff . Although I have read it several times I got something cool reviewing today . Those of us who have had children know what happens when a baby is crying for food . Everything else has no meaning. Everything else stops . The baby cries without ceasing until he gets food . No other activities take place until the baby gets food . Your life is on hold until the baby gets food . It takes priority over everything and the baby continues to let you know until he is fed . The translation we are reading says we should seek Spiritual "food" the same way a baby cries when hungry !!! "Food" for thought .
Peace and Love

Chrysalis 51

What a honor and privilege God has given me to be Lay Director for Chrysalis 51. I am here at church getting ready for our first meeting. Its one of those weird feelings of , are you sure you want me !! , mixed with a sense of satisfaction that my life has come to a point where God and people trust me with these types of responsibilities. Just a thought !! Ya ll keep praying for JesusCrawl and everything else God is doing through us here at The Mission.
Peace and Love

Life is Amazing

Hey Guys,
Its Friday morning and all is awesome . Its date day for me and Leatrice . We may go to the movies or play golf . We really haven't decided yet . Anyway , after morning meditation , God is just giving me a big hug today ! With the future unsure , financial security in question , I am at more peace than ever before . All my relationships are smooth and fruit bearing . I just don't know how to describe it . I always have had the head knowledge that growth happens though trials and struggles now God is showing me how He can work when all we do is look to Him for answers and comfort . As I start school and JesusCrawl Ministries I want all of you to know how much I love you and how much you all mean to me . I would not be where I am today without you guys .Thanks to all .
My wife ,the staff at Mission Abilene , the youth and congregation , all friends and family .Lets all keep on keepin on .God is smiling on us and blessing us because I believe we are headed in the right direction !! Life is amazing !!
Peace and Love

James 3

The book of James is one of my favorites , chapter 3 is my favorite . We studied through it this week and here are my thoughts . The power of the tongue holds life and death , how true . In Genesis God spoke everything into existence and we are created in the image of Christ . So if you believe in the Trinity as I do than we have the power to "speak " things into the lives of our loved ones . Just try it . I challenge you , and myself , to speak only encouraging things to those around you and see what happens in your week . Example ; if the only thing we heard as a teen growing up was failure , odds are we are going to fail . If I encourage my son and build him up with positive words , telling him he can instead of he never will , he will succeed . Speak Love and the Truth and you will receive Love and the Truth . Speak negative and lies and you will receive misery and frustration . Where selfish ambition lives so does confusion , chaos and death . Jesus offers life and life more abundant , that means while we are here as well . Life abundant can only live through Love . Try it I think you will like it .
Peace and Love
Jeff

Just worked another Emmaus walk this weekend and I am very tired . I snore and Sammy beats on the night stand to stop me long enough for him to fall asleep . So basically neither of us sleeps for three nights . Anyway , God still shows up in powerful ways . I am writing this blog on my brand new laptop free of charge from the State of Texas . Well not free , we all payed for it in taxes , so thanks for my new laptop . I am exited about the future and curious as to how God is going to work it all out but I know He will . Jesus Crawl is turning into Crawl for various reasons . I had a problem with it at first but after prayer and some quality God time this weekend it does not matter what its called as long as it helps those who need it . The process for starting a non-profit is intimidating , but I have the support and experience from Chad and others to make it possible . Please continue to pray for Gods will in all of our ministries .
Peace and Love

Where have I been !!!!

To say it's been an interesting couple months would be the understatement of my life . I now know what it feels like to operate in sacrifice and faith . God has removed me from corporate America and placed me in His hands . He has provided a way where there was none. I am not working , I have acquired my G.E.D. , passed in the 95 -99 percentile by the way , I am starting college and diving head first into full time ministry. All of this ties together Jesus Crawl . I feel great . My marriage is rock'in . It is well with my soul . Next week we are meeting with ACU 's non-profit guru to steer us in the right direction for launching Jesuscrawl into reality. I'm exited and will do better to keep up with my posts .
Peace and Love