I've Been Waiting

The waiting is the hardest part. Many times in my 46 years I have rushed the process. It seems every time I do it doesn't come off the way I had hoped for. On the other hand I have matured over the years and have learned this lesson on my own. God's timing is much better than mine and has fewer struggles to go with it. His yoke is easy and Hid burden is light. I think the older I get the more i realize if I'm struggling to MAKE something happen it is not God's will. I'm not saying life does not have it's struggles or what God calls us to do isn't hard at times. What I am saying is to wait on God is a gift. That gift always turns out better than if I earned it of my own making !!! Waiting causes me to get out of my head and focus of this day...One day at a time is a spiritual principle that gives Peace. Waiting also teaches me I really have no control over anything except what I say and what I do....The understanding of lack of power is power......Gnaw on that one a while.....
Peace and Love
Jeff

Weirdness

Lately the theme has been if you want what normal people have do what normal people do.....If you want what a few very peaceful, easy going not too connected to this world people have, you gotta be a little weird...Normal people do things to get noticed, even some in a supposedly Christian atmosphere still have their own agenda....and it's really obvious to those who don't......but even having said that God still does what only He can do through many adverse circumstances. You got to be weird to be unselfish because it goes against our human nature....but trusting God and being just a little weird even when it feels well........a little weird.....can result in some uncommon Peace and contentment known only to the few, the not proud, the not "normal" .....Weirdo's         From one weirdo to all those,very few, weirdos who read this blog........Peace and Love !!

Easter Memories

I'm not really sure I have a favorite Easter childhood memory.....but I do have a Easter childhood memory and a photograph to prove it......Early April, Houston Texas a rare photograph of my entire family of origin, even my German Shepard puppy...Shawna. We looked happy, the appearance was late 70's in all it's glory. We had the latest trendy clothes....you can see it the pastel polyester suits my dad and I had on, green and blue, I know you can see it....I'm in the powder blue and dads in the Easter pastel light green. Both my sisters decked out in their Easter dresses....Ahhh yes, from the outside we were the all American family, but inside we all were dying. Dad was an alcoholic, mom had mental health issues  and us. I never remember dad being in church, I seriously think he got in the photo because mom forced him too....My favorite memories of Easter are all recent. driving to church on Easter Sunday thinking.....wow,  I am part of the staff at a church, it's Easter, our Superbowl......Jesus is at the right hand of the Father and all is well in my world and my soul.....Thanks to The Cross of Jesus Christ !!!!!
Peace and Love

Heart Break

The sad truth is less than 5 % of people in Substance Abuse Treatment programs stay clean and sober without quality aftercare.....This is what breaks my heart and that is why I do what I do..........To see someone get it...to see the "lights come on" and then they relapse is tragic and sad..In my years of sobriety I have seen countless people start a relationship with God, on fire for recovery only to go right back to their misery. It does not have to end that way..JesusCrawl Ministries is dedicated to stopping this cycle in Abilene first and then ....who knows, possibly the world. We need to stop judging and looking down on the disease of addiction and start loving people right where they are at, good bad or indifferent..We need to.help them connect their recovery assets with a quality life of sobriety..
Peace and Love
Jeff

Looking Back

When God was present, but only now I can look back and realize it...hmmm. I think because of all the music ministry lately, what comes to mind is when I started playing guitar. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons...to glorify myself, get girls, show off and party hard. God knew then what I would be doing now and I guarantee you I was not thinking of Him when I started. He has used what I started for selfish reasons for His Glory....and I could tell story after story about how He has rescued me over and over from situations stemming from those days....
Peace and Love

Here We Are

O.K. for those of you who really know me...this is probably not your first choice of a song from me, but here's the deal. This song connects me with the Holy Spirit like no other. This was Jack Smith's favorite song that we played together. Sammy and I played it at his celebration service. I'm up early on a Saturday fixing to go to the Emmaus pancake breakfast for Josh Casey....cause I figure his sponsor won't be there......anyway,  after that I am going the studio to record the final tracks for our CD and thinking of Jack. The lyrics to this song are powerful....Here we are in his presence...lifting Holy hands to you...praising Jesus for the things He's brought us through.....Every time we play this song I think of Jack...jammin with Jesus.....and truly in His Presence.....and I can go through ANYTHING.....
Peace and Love

Empty Chair

Last Sunday Chads message was about empty chairs....empty chairs at family gatherings for various reasons. Death, addiction, bad choices, divorce...many reasons can be thought of for that empty chair.
But something really cool happened to me last Wednesday as I was getting ready to go to McKinney for Thanksgiving....A friend called me who was aware of all that is going on in my life...........he was making sure I had somewhere to go for Thanksgiving.....his exact words were " I have an empty chair for you."
This brought on a whole new perspective while at the same time gave me assurance God is in control......
Peace and Love.............sometimes His work is not mysterious at all !!!!!!!!!
Jeff

Diminished Returns

I heard about this diet guru...She was making millions on the fundamental principle of diminished returns. Simply put, eat whatever you want but while you are eating you must stop when the thrill of the taste is gone..ie..."Diminished Returns."..Thank You Father that You are not like that, when I return what has been freely given to me I continue to receive  Gods blessings in my life...His Peace is unsurpassed when I am working with another addict or alcoholic. His Presence and Joy is unspeakable when I am in His will. By the way if you are reading this and you are searching for answers, wondering what is Gods will...let me ease your search...Gods will is for you to be in intimate relationship with Him and to Love all those you come into contact with...unconditionally...   Abundant Returns !!!!
Peace and Love
Jeff

Fear

Our recovery literature reads " we are driven by 100 forms of fear "....I think it should read 1000.....we live in fear of everything when we are in our addictions. WHY ? Because we measure our success and or failures based on our own power. We look at days ahead and think how am I going to get through. We judge our capabilities based on our own will power and abilities....Anyone can see that any life run on self will is driven by fear. False Evidence Appearing Real....God is my strength, He has my future. He says I will give you enough strength for every situation that arises. No matter what happens He is all I need. As God works through my friends and family to hold me up I can walk through my fears.....and isn't that the definition of courage ?
Peace and Love
Jeff

When God Was Near....

This is a whole new meaning as of late.......After spending 22 years running from God and starring as Satan's MVP I could tell you story after story of near death,literally,near death experiences. I could also tell you of all the Miracles He has performed in my life over the the past, almost decade now, of following Him....but today as I am getting ready to go play at Emmaus Candle Light I feel the need to express the fact that God is ALWAYS with me now !!!! It's awesome to have a continuous conscience contact with the Holy Spirit.....It's truly the one thing that has transformed my life and allowed me to be content no matter what my circumstance.....Even broke,wandering what I want to be when I grow up,rocky relationships and all life has to throw at me.........God is Good ....He was near and He is near..
Peace and Love
Jeff

Remember Me !!!

Some friends of mine have been getting together now for about 25 years....yep its been that long...I used to be remembered as the last one down,the guy who could party all night. People remembered me for all the wrong reasons. Last year I attended that party again......did not drink....was the only bass player there sober enough to play. Everyone knew I was changed....I left at 11:00 pm and as I left Marcus announced to everyone I had to leave cause I was preaching the next morning. The party just happened to fall on our Recovery Sunday weekend.....Some of them actually showed up in church to hear my message....It was awesome.....now I am remembered for the right reasons..........
Peace and Love
P.S.

Six Flags with teen recovery youth was awesome......thanks Mission Abilene for giving those young people to opportunity to have fun.....without consequences  !!!!!!!!!

Show Me The Way

A very famous person once said "Preach the Gospel throughout the world ...and when necessary use words !"...I truly believe this is how it has to start...We are based on attraction...the world needs to see us different and have a desire to be like us or else ANY words are useless......Then once we are in an accountable relationship with Christ and others that is when it needs to go further....we build,edify and encourage....THROUGH LOVE....and speak the truth to our brothers. This helps them clear the path for God to do His transforming work.....We tend to be way over-educated beyond our level of obedience.......That's worth repeating...We tend to be way over-educated beyond our level of obedience !!!
Peace and Love
Jeff

EMPTY

As of late I am anything but EMPTY......I recently participated in a Kairos prison ministry and if you get the chance to do so I highly recommend it.....I watched God do what he does best through the lives of 42 inmates out at the Robertson unit....The fact is but for the grace of God I am not in white.....I learned a lot from the guys at our table "family" its called in Kairos. I poured out my heart and the wisdom He has blessed me with to those guys and WOW what a blessing......Our spiritual life is ALIVE its a living breathing thing much like a body of water...Living Water....it must have an inflow and and outlet lest it becomes stagnant and dies.................
Peace and Love
Jeff

5......5.......5......FIll in the blank...

If you went to the Subway commercial you like myself are flooded with media....
Not to sound churchy but for real the One voice that influences me the most is that small still Voice I hear in my heart and head....That God conscience that I try to let run my life and give me Peace..Pastor Chad, and all the staff at the Mission are number two..Next would be my AA Sponsor Barry B. He has had a daily investment in my life for 7 years and he has my back.no matter what. My wife who speaks into my life on a daily basis also has a strong influence......most of the time.....LOL......
Last but certainly not least....all these influences change order daily....the guys that I sponsor...helping others is probably the one constant that has kept me on track and blessed my life the most.....
Peace and Love
Jeff

FUEL

Simply put....My rest in HIM......I have learned over my years in ministry that boundaries are very important.....I can't give from an empty "TANK." My hobbies and my alone time I guard fiercely....ask my kids....and sponcees. My fuel comes from Gods word as I rest in him.....
Peace and Love

Audacity

Honestly the word itself has had a negative meaning most of my life. Phrases like "do you believe the audacity of......" That's the first thing I think of.  After the past couple weeks it has a new meaning. Audacity is outright boldness without regard to the norm.I believe as Spirit filled believers anytime we face difficulties without whining or complaining we show we are different than the norm. When life looks horribly negative and depressing and we shout out with joy to our Creator we are being audacious.
Clinton Trigg, after his wife of over 50 years passed away, he could be the most angry, depressed,mad at God and life old man .....and with good reason, but he is not. He has chosen to let God and His people love him and he has even gotten involved himself. He gave his life to Christ at our Iron meeting. He drives the church van. He volunteers his time. That's audacity. My wife as well, she has done his laundry every since his wife died. She feeds him at our home once a week and they go to the movies or do something together at least once a week. Most of us just start to ignore older people and hope they find something to do...not my wife....that too is audacious !!!
Peace and Love
Jeff

Just Because

I'm writing tonight just because....what a difference time can make. This weekend is the Annual AA Conference at the Civic Center....hmmm seems we were just there...anyway, seeing the "old timers" and realizing what God has done through the years through so many people is incredible. I can reflect on my thoughts 9 years ago and remember....they even have photo albums from past years. We can look at ourselves then and now but more importantly we can reflect......What amazing things God has done in our lives....I really don't seem to have the words to describe it. It's His plan in action.....Loving Him and Loving each other....just as we are, unconditionally and praying for transformation....That is what recovery programs are all about....that's what our churches should be all about. I am blessed to be a part of a church that "walks the walk"...and allows me to do what God does through the recovery community.
Peace and Love
Jeff

A Short Story

Its 1:09 am and I just got home......in the past say 10 years ago I'm sure your imagination could tell you why someone would just be getting home at 1:00 am.but tonight the story is different. I woke up this morning an ordinary Saturday, no big plans maybe go to Hamlin for the Pritchard reunion or maybe stay home and enjoy the first rain since Easter...but then the phone rang. It was John, a high school buddy asking me if I had heard about Lee's mom, Lee is another old friend. John and Lee were the first  two people I met In High School when I moved here to Abilene. Lee's mom had passed away last week and the funeral was today in Strawn.Again...... in the past I can hear myself saying...".man if I had only known before the day of I could have made plans to go," or some kind of excuse. Not today...I got ready and went.It was refreshing to be able to just go and be selfless to show up for a friend. Not to go preach or try to counsel but just to be there for someone if they needed me. God blesses us when we are unselfish. The funeral was well....a funeral. I spoke to Lee and some others and they thanked me for coming and as I was leaving I thought I am almost to Fort Worth I will go see David. It was just like an hour or so to Weatherford and David was int Ft. Worth..So as I'm driving I decide to call Juan and ask what room David was in now.....he is now at Baylor in downtown Dallas !!!! That's another 2-3 hours both ways of driving....but no excuses I kept going. It was good for my soul to see David...He is awake and alive and being David. The last time I saw him he was still in a medically induced coma. I am at a peace I have not known for a while.....God is faithful to grant us His peace when we get out of ourselves and do for others.....I'm excited about STV and everything else we have happening at church.. Chad blogged about a big happening, but is going to wait for KRBC and KTAB to air the news......maybe I can get it out of him tomorrow......I'm a little curious who it is...Its a good day to be sober
Peace and Love
Jeff.

The Past and It's Influence

Seems to be a trend here.....Chad and I both have spoke on this recently.....Our past does not define us but it does shape us. My past actually helps me in our ministry." Be transformed by the renewing of your mind"....it helps to know how others think now in order to walk with them through renewal. It's what we do...so I'm OK with my past but more importantly excited about our future !!!!!

100% vs 100

If I could get 100 people to join me in what I believe and what I am going to do the impact would be 99 times greater than what I could do alone !!! Even more than that...those people would impact others as well and so on and so on........Look what Jesus started with twelve.......imagine what we should be doing !!!!
Peace and Love
Jeff